Did you know that December is the most popular time to get engaged? There must be something in the air that inspires couples to propose. All of the twinkle lights, snow, colder temps and cuddling encourages romance. Heck, I’m inspired, and I’ve been married for almost 19 years. Getting engaged is the start of an entirely new chapter of life. It doesn’t matter if your dream wedding takes place on a beach, in a cathedral, or a tiny chapel in Vegas, it all requires some thought and effort.
From the moment the word “YES” is spoken, hold on tight, because a barrage of questioning is on the horizon. Within hours, the interrogation starts with “have you chosen a date?”, to “can I be a bridesmaid?”, “where will it be?”, “you are getting married in the church, right??”. Planning a wedding of any size is HARD work, time consuming, expensive and stressful, so here are my top 5 tips and tricks to staying sane through it all:
1.) Take a breath. While you may want to shout your new engagement from the rooftops, do yourselves a favor and set time aside (early on) to talk about what you both see for your day. Take time to discuss and plan out the basic details. Family can be really overwhelming with their excitement for you, but the expectations and rapid-fire questions can be exhausting. Don’t be afraid to simply reply with “We aren’t sure yet.”
2.) Stay true to YOUR style, even if that isn’t what someone else wants. Every couple have a vision of the perfect day for them. Some prefer a destination wedding, while others dream of saying vows in their family church. Know that what you want will not please everyone. Know that nothing will make everyone happy. After all this day is all about you and your fiancée starting your lives together, not about wearing grandma’s wedding dress to avoid hurt feelings. There are many ways to honor your loved ones while keeping with your own personal style.
3.) Set a budget (and stick to it)!! Allow adequate time for calling multiple vendors, checking reviews and meetings. The longer you wait to book, the more expensive it is and the less likely your preferred vendor is available for your date.
4.) Plan date days/nights with your fiancée. Here is the key though; you are not allowed to discuss anything about the wedding! New parents will attest they get so busy with the baby, they forget that they need a connection to who they are as people, not just a mom or dad. Planning a wedding is no different, because you need to remember who your fiancée fell in love with before the wedding took over your lives.
5.) Know and accept that not everything will be “perfect”. Some brides are VERY detail oriented. That is wonderful and can create a magical day that perfectly represents the happy couple, but don’t forget your why. The why is about focusing on the greater meaning. At the end of the day, your fiancée will be your spouse and you get to begin your lives together….MARRIED!!!
Remember that a wedding is only as stressful as you allow it to be! This is the day that most of us spend our early years dreaming of. We were not designed to go through life alone. Having deep relationships is what we are called to do. That is what marriage is all about, and having a day to remember is a great way to begin our journey together.
Congratulations and happy planning!!!