A love letter to my daughter….
In 2001 I heard “congratulations, it’s a boy.”
In 2003 I heard “congratulations, it’s a boy.”
In 2006 I heard “congratulations, it’s a boy.”
In 2007 I heard something different….” it’s a girl.”wait, what????
But I’ve only had boys, I don’t know what to do with a girl!!! Everything in our house was centered around boys, blue and green, cars and trucks, and football. That is not to say that girls can’t love those things too, but…. I only knew how to potty train boys!!!!! Even in my babysitting days, it was mostly boy diapers I changed. What on Earth would I do with a girl?!?! I knew in my heart I hoped for a girl to complete my family, I ached and longed for the opportunity to have the mother/daughter relationship that I experience with my own mother. Each of my boys hold a huge piece of my heart, I wasn’t sure how to add more love to a heart that was already blessed beyond measure.
Then I saw her, heard her, held her, loved her. My heart grew like only a mothers’ heart can. That was it, she was the missing puzzle piece that I had been looking for.
I will never forget being at the doctor’s office waiting for the ultrasound around our 20-week mark. The technician asked if we wanted to know the gender. Since we had found out with our other three, of course I knew already it was going to be a boy. After all, we had already been calling the bump “Henry” for weeks now. The technician moved the probe-thing into the correct position to see the necessary parts. Right away I knew something was different. Those were not the same parts I had seen before. I had never seen those parts on an ultrasound. She smiled with a twinkle in her eye and said, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!” WHAT?!?!
I looked at my husband that seemed just as awestruck as I was and we both looked at the technician at the same time in shock. She continued to smile, listen, and chuckle each time I asked, “are you sure??” (which was several times). She wasn’t annoyed with my disbelief, but seemed entertained with my inability to absorb what we were all seeing. I think she thought it was funny, right up until the moment when I asked her to go get another opinion. She nervously laughed as if she thought I was kidding. I said “no really, go get the doctor, I need to hear this from another source.” She didn’t know quite what to say, so she got up and left the room. The minutes slowly ticked by without knowing where the technician went or if she was trying to fulfill my request. My husband kept giving me the stink eye. “I can’t believe you said that, honey. She probably thought you were doubting her”. OH NO, that was not my intention at all!!! Now, I was so embarrassed and felt terrible for putting my foot in my mouth. I could feel my blood pressure rising. The longer she was gone, the more I stressed. With the rattle of the handle, the door opened and the doctor came in. He confirmed what the technician had already told us, “it is indeed a girl, I would lay my license on it”. OH, MY GOODNESS!!!! Now what?
Well, here we are eleven years later, and I am still in disbelief. My sweet baby is my mini-me, partner in crime, shopping buddy, clone. We have the same sense of humor; the same nervous giggle and we both have her father wrapped around our little fingers. This day and age it’s no small task to raise a child, but girls seem to be especially difficult. Our culture tells girls from a very early age who they should be, what they should look like, what they should (or shouldn’t do). I believe everyone is beautiful, and she is no exception. Her heart is full of kindness. The way she loves is so honest and without hesitation. Her smile warms my heart and her giggle is pure magic. She is the sunshine in my summer and makes me believe in the goodness of mankind. I couldn’t love her any more than I do and I consider myself the luckiest mom in the world.